1. Master Warjomaa, thou art sentenced to be purged and scourged for Crimes too terrible to describe, so let the court Session of Infallible Inqusition begin! In the name of the God-Emperor of Mankind, answer me this: when and for which felonies wast thou arrested for the first time?
MW: For the sin of starting to make original music back in 1998 era vulgaris after I quit my previous megafamous band in order to pursue my unclear visions. Although the first Aarni demo didnít come out until 2001 ev. By the way, the only true God Emperor of mankind is Leto II. Repent!
2. People named thee the One Through Whom Aarni Speaks. When didst thou start foul contacts with the unclean spirit Aarni for the first time? Which Powers did it grant thee for thy Service?
MW: The Sirian unicorn dolphin elders (who are very clean for they live in the waters) first contacted me telepathetically in early 1999 era vulgaris. That was just after I thought I had crossed the Abyss in my brown magick practice. They gave me the powers of flight, Xothian meditation, finding precious metals, intercourse with the dead, using sophisticated machinery without electricity, turning alcohol into water and making bad music sound good to awakened people.
3. Who are thy accessories? It is a well known fact that thou hadst some deals with Comte de Saint Germain, the ancient Witch Mistress Palm and the devilish Creature named Doomintroll! So, I am repeating my question once more: who are thy accessories?!
MW: Thou didst just list them. Indeed these worthies are my Pnakotic familiars, colleagues and inept lovers, for I havenít managed to banish them as of yet. Everybody can try to contact them via wet dreaming and/or sleep paralysis however.
4. We know also that thou hast produced at least five albums of blasphemous incantations to spread amidst fair lads and lasses, to spread the Words of those whose Names we dare not speak. Who did help thee to disseminate such sinful Teachings?
MW: The malicious global insectoid conspiracies which cunningly masquerade as record labels: Firebox, Firedoom and Epidemie Records. Also the Masonic megacorporations of Foreshadow and Solitude Productions have been of keen assistance by releasing the Skepticism and Thergothon tribute albums whereon Aarni appears. Yet Aarni hath only released two LPs: Bathos in 2004 ev and Tohcoth in 2008 ev. Other droppings include the demos, the split album with Umbra Nihil and lately the Omnimantia EP.
5. I have heard some of thy "albums" for it is my duty to know what such arch heretics do...Thy spells, chants and ritualistic Tunes are created not by human Tools (and not for human ears of course)...How many Souls didst thou spoil to try to earn these evil Gifts?
MW: I lost count after 144,000. That is also the number of Idiots on Earth, the spoilable. Gifts did I receive from the rest of humanity, the unspoilable & pure of heart and brain and wallet.
6. Master Warjomaa, thou art the one who useth several inhuman languages in his "songs". They are Enochian, Ancient Egyptian and even English (which is the worst one maybe)! Where didst thou study these languages? Tell us the truth and only the truth.
MW: At the University Visible & Invisible and the mushroom monastery meditation burial chamber that is the Universe. I have sinned indeed with English, but repented for it by my usage of Latin, Finnish, Swedish, Ouranian Barbaric and Hebrew in addition to those comely tongues thou didst list. In the future loom other Orcish speechs such as Celtic, Italian and Russian.
7. The almighty Orcish race was suppressed in Russia in times of yore, so do not even try to plant the seeds of your teachings here - their fruits will be undoubtedly reaped by those who are pure and zealous! Dost thou keep in contact with Moomintrolls still? Weíve found their lair on the secret island in the Finnish Gulf and soon we will make them talk all about thy dirty plans.
MW: Their submarine island is indeed extremely dirty, which is surprising considering they have absolutely no buttholes. But the Moomins exist not wholly on our material plane called Malkuth - therefore they cannot be touched up or hurt. I have sometimes haltingly communicated with them by the Powers of telepathety, apportation and televivisection.
8. Many of those who have heard the tunes of thine Bathos or Tohcoth were found mindless and raving of ancient pagan so called "gods"! Reveal the secrets of thy powers! How canst thou, a mere Chaosí pawn, control poor human minds?!
MW: In Chaos is found true shape and form. Humans control their own minds thereby. NLP and subliminal messages/sigils help too...but as Jesus said: donít mistake lack of talent for art.
9. There were rumours that especially those miserable ones who have heard Tohcoth are tormented (in our catacombs too) by alien whispers in their nightmares...
MW: The whispers are of sweet things to come, and at least are not as bad as the things many have heard uttered by their uncles in childhood. As for the "aliens": Total surrender required. Inquire within! When Jesus returns, all hell breaks loose. Again!
10. There was an eye-witness who saw thee in disguise buying childrenís souls for bread-rings! What hast thou done with them? There is even Chaosí eight-pointed star, the mark of evil ones!
MW: Nay, the mark is of potential movement in Flesh and Spirit unto all Spheres of existence. However the children were needed for chorus vocal recordings on Lovecraftian. Ask not what I have done with them, ask what Pink Floyd did with theirs on The Wall...
11. Why dost thou always wear grotesque Masks? A kind and fair Gentleman will never hide his face.
MW: Exactly! I wear masks to hide my masks, yet in truth there are none.
12. Evil has many forms and now thou even triest to spread it with charmed T-shirts of Aarni...confess, confess!
MW: I confess to conspiring with Epidemie Records to spread wicked garments granting the users invisibility in the eyes of the fashion-minded. These robes are being disseminated even as we speak. Seek congress with that label via thy PalantŪr for more information.
13. We know about thy wicked Plans to release thy musical versions of H.P Lovecraftís works under the name 'Lovecraftian'! How soon wilt thou manage to produce this CD?
MW: When the Raven turneth white or 2010 era vulgaris. That is if everything goes according to plan and I manage to keep the standards of my quality control up - otherwise it could be sooner. Letís say next year at this point as only a few songs of this shoggoth-fest have been completed. At least the album should be better than Aarni's previous releases in many ways and worse in others. I guess we will see...
14. Thou hast revealed Lemminkäinens Tempel onto MySpace - why didst thou not publish any songs of thy next LP?
MW: What would be the point? Better to hear them from the record itself so as not to spoil things. In the meanwhile I have released online other unrelated new songs for people to marvel at. These include 49 Angeli Boni, Lemminkäinens Tempel and Emuu. Those should be more than enough.
15. Why art thou so sure that our forces will not stop thee before the release of the new foul LP 'Lovecraftian'?
MW: Because then you would be completely out of business...deny it not!
16. Who is he for thee? The one? Lovecraft?!
MW: Role model, genius, secret lover, a warning example and the dark & baroque prince of 20th century horror fiction. An unhealthy influence when I was at a tender age. The prophet of our emptiness.
17. Itís about thy semi-prophetic song - Lovecraft Knew, thy revelations were false ones for just one simple reason: thy almighty inspirator was misinformed by our agents. So wail aloud - the Ancient One is really one...
MW: Er, what? Thou hast to speak louder; my ears be full of headphones.
18. Folks told the story of thy "magic black box" (thou callest it tv-Set) through which thou seest some Countries distant and Visions hidden...all of us know it: "real human beings watch not the tv-Set", they even use not crystal balls. What did the box tell thee last?
MW: It told me unconvincing lies, therefore I use it not like thou just quotest. Various gobshite god-emperors talk there...to quote Judge Dredd: Donít watch TV, citizen!
19. Thou hast to admit - itís better to take temporary suffering on Earth than eternal damnation so in which crimes wouldst thou like to confess? Though thy avowal of guilt will not ease punishment anyway...
MW: Well, how about these: the excellent occult/magick/esoteric podcast Occult Of Personality hath featured Aarni songs as of late. Go check it out as a boost to thy illumination in other ways as well.
Also the Cthulhoid album project featuring us and other fell bands is at last after many years going to be released. More of this later, but things look good currently...
Finally, the Thergothon tribute album whereon Aarni and an assload of other bands appear shall apparently be released as we speak by your countrymen Solitude Productions.
20. There is only way for sinners and heretics, which are foul and unclean - purge and scourge! So there are thy holy water and holy soap :-) Thank You for interview, Master!
MW: Thank thee, O holey one! We must do this again sometime.
• FrostScald magazine