A Review of 'Bathos' by Azhidahak of Metal Storm webzine

This must be, one of THE most difficult reviews I have ever written. Describing Aarni's music is just as easy as solving the equation: y' + sinxy = 4sinx but with your hands tied and your eyes shut. But just to give you an idea of the music, then imagine traditional doom metal, but with lots of folk and ambient influences and you might get a slight idea of what this is. I personally like to simply call it Avantgarde doom, it has also been called "Avantgarde mooD musick" and the man behind the band himself apparently likes to call it "Chtonic Hybrid Musick". But whatever it is and whatever you like to call it, I must say that I haven't heard anything as original as this in the field of metal for quite some time.

Aarni is basically a one man band (Markus Marjomaa) but with "4 personalities" who are the following:

Master Warjomaa: Intuition & xothian kantele
Comte de Saint-German: Sensation & keys to secrets
Doomintroll: Feeling & sense of fashion
Mrs. Pam: Thinking & fuck-ups

Lyrically the band takes influences from anything you can imagine, from themes such as Finnish folklore, shamanism and occultism to "brain-change" and "collective & personal liberation".

The music has a very soft and relaxing atmosphere, full of fantasy and dreamy landscapes. If you listen to this album and close your eyes, you can almost imagine yourself in another dimension, where cats have four heads, dogs have wings and zebras are gathered to practice kevhulian magick. In this planet, humans are the most stupid and dumb creatures that exist, and therefore, most of them are servants for chemically produced creatures such as oxydonic worms and carbohydrogenic ants. The somehow mellow and melodic side of this album have covered this planet with a green layer, giving it a warm and harmonic feeling.

You think this review is weird? Then I must say that I'm disappointed at myself for not being able to write a review that is as weird as Aarni's music (weird in a positive way).